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This year represents a ten-year milestone since the term “vanishing” entered the mainstream. Initially, the notion that someone could instantly end communication with a partner without a word seemed like the height of indignity. We were so innocent. In the 10 years since, finding a partner has only become more perplexing – an commonly pointless endeavor in embarrassment that is increasingly defined by online lingo.

Zoomers, a demographic who grew up during a loneliness crisis, a male identity reckoning, and a coordinated challenge on the freedoms of females and the LGBTQ+ community, faces a far messier environment than their Gen Y elders could ever fathom. And so their dating vocabulary has grown longer and more bizarre, with expressions like “Ogre-ing” and “vine swinging” straining the boundaries of your mental fortitude.

What follows is a extensive breakdown to the terms gen Z is using to navigate love, intimacy and the quest of both. To paraphrase one of the recent most popular memes, by the conclusion of this glossary you’ll long to get back to God’s country – because wherever that is, it lacks “wokefishing”.

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A

Genuineness – According to gen Z, dating’s ultimate goal is showing up as your real, unfiltered self. Good luck with that!

The Letter B

Feathered friend test – A online phenomenon loosely based on a methodology developed by relationship scientists, in which you mention something minor – for example, “I saw a bird today” – and note whether your date's reaction is inquisitive or dismissive. If they do not want to hear more about the bird, you two are headed for splitsville.

Black cat girlfriend – Zoomers' answer to the “manic pixie dream girl” stereotype of the early 2000s – but rather than having baby bangs, liking The Smiths and eschewing commitment, the black cat girlfriend puts herself first while oozing mystery and self-sufficiency. (She might still have that fringe.)

The Letter C

Seat theory – This signifies choosing someone who aids you proactively. If you entered a room, they would fetch a seat for you to take a load off.

Task-based bonding – A outing where two people bond while running errands, such as walking the dog or food shopping. In other words, how financially strained young adults do budget-friendly romance in a inflation-era world.

Crashing out – Losing it when you feel burdened by life. You can crash out over a crush or breakup, spilling all of your (unrequited) emotions.

D

DINK – Double income, no kids. Once a signifier of 1980s young urban professional affluence, it refers to couples who forgo parenthood to focus on their own fulfillment. Or because they are unable to afford to become parents.

E

Vulnerable signaling – The antithesis of acting aloof: utilizing communication, honesty and vulnerability.

The Letter F

Flags

• Warning signs – Behavioral habits suggesting a potential partner is trouble. Examples include calling their former partners unstable, bad gratuity habits, a fondness for controversial director films, a nascent DJ career …
• Positive signs – These quirks validate your decision to date a mate. For instance checking in to make sure you got home safely after a date, low screen time, having a bed frame …
• Beige flags – These usually describe specific, mostly harmless quirks. For instance being an enthusiastic ornithologist, still carrying around a pen in their purse, paying the rent in physical money …

Freak matching – When you meet someone who’s just as obsessive about films about the WWII or DVD collecting or art or whatever it may be, as you. Or, conversely, meeting someone who despises the same things or individuals that you do (few things builds intimacy faster than sharing a common enemy).

The Letter G

Geese – A musical group your gen Z boyfriend listens to.

Zombie-ing – Someone who pops back into your life after a period of ghosting.

Eager-to-please partner – Someone who is affable, eager to please and loyal. The uncommon partner who is adored by all of his partner’s friends, and a mysterious partner's foil.

Prolonged session enthusiasts – A primarily online community of men so obsessed with self-pleasure that they attempt marathon sessions, purposefully postponing orgasm so they can continue as long as possible.

H

Heterofatalism – A phenomenon describing many women’s increasing cynicism toward straight relationships. It will come as no surprise to anyone who read the above entry.

Traditional ideal woman – An archetype promoted by online male influencer figures: a woman who is sexually desirable, nurturing and happily home-oriented, who apparently has no aspirations of her own other than satisfying her male partner. Perhaps now you’re beginning to understand the whole “heterofatalism” thing better?

The Letter I

Turn-offs – Arbitrary and frequently trivial dealbreakers that instantly extinguish any feelings of interest.

“Actions speak louder" – Something to tell yourself after you watch someone else get an extremely thoughtful gesture.

The Letter J

Jobs – These have not been this important in the dating scene since the Wall Street era. For some women, a “man in finance” is the ultimate partner: a preppy, conservative-leaning guy who will be a provider (there’s a popular TikTok song on the topic). Meanwhile the anti-capitalist crowd prefer partners in sectors they believe are being staffed by the more caring among us: nurses, teachers or therapists.

K

Locking lips – This year, scientists learned that kissing has been around for 16 million years. But the era of kissing may be limited since some gen Z desire fewer intimate scenes in movies, as they are having reduced intimacy themselves and do not find cinematic romance realistic.

Light catfishing – Slight exaggeration. Or, not exactly being dishonest about who you are, but maybe using outdated (better) photos of yourself on a dating app profile, or making your career sound more important than it is. Also known as {